The young man sits and waits, with anxious thoughts and sweaty palms. He was here last week and the routine is the same. Come in, sit down, grab a magazine and watch the faces of people coming and going.
Very few make eye contact. Nobody really wants to be recognized. Anonymity is a strange solace. The illusion of control has been shattered and we have all surrendered to the mercy of complete strangers.
Last week was hard. The counselor probed into some sensitive areas. It didn’t feel fair to experience such forced vulnerability. Exposure of the soul always led to this same choice. Tense muscles, clenched fists, gritted teeth, anger or the pain of honesty.
More than pride is at stake. Marriages are on the line. Some are in this waiting room because they put themselves in it. Others are in this waiting room because they love that person who did. For all, the question remains, “Why do I have to be here?”
The young man dreads the waiting room. Just once, he would like to leave this place without crying. For once he would like to avoid some painful memory or relive a poor choice. Why do all his choices have to be held under a microscope? Haven’t we all made mistakes?
He looks over to the person sitting in the chair next to his and remembers why he’s here.
His tears will never match the number of hers. His pain will always pale in comparison. Self-inflicted wounds have a tinge of justice…a quasi-karma is attached. Her wounds are just unfair.
How many times and in how many ways can an apology take shape? The balm of confession is most effective in solidarity. You just keep doing and saying what it takes until peace breaks through. The broken ways are made whole again through time and trust.
The waiting room. They’ve both been here before.
His name is called and he looks up. Standing there is a very masculine man with a voice like thunder. He just asks one question, “Are you ready?” A deep breath is drawn in like a diver before piercing cold water. It’s into the office and away from the crowd. No more anonymity.
It’s time. The young man says, “Yes, I’m ready” and steps into his office one more time…